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● Thursday, January 14, 2010
Things are finally getting back on track. My dad was discharged from the hospital ytday :) & now, like me, he just need plenty of rest. I started studying, I have to. I have to take my block test next week, with all the subjects and all the chapters I've learnt. There was this day which I broke down again. Afraid of facing the block test and fail them. Although I did study for it before I got ill, there's still this barrier that I can't get thru. I am afraid of failures, I know I will just stare at the ceiling during the exam. I am afraid of that. Getting back bad results. But right now, I got up. No matter what I still have to take it, I'll just have to try my best to study whatever I could these few days. Knowing that I might get poor results. Just having low confidence, when I read thru my notes. But whatever it is, just go for it. I feel sad when I am actually studying when I am supposed to be resting. Irritating. Ah hope next week will be over soon. Becos of me, delayed my group econs project. I am very sorry! :( I miss going to school, BUT NOT THE EXAM. Babes, next monday I'll be back, though it is the start of the exam. Ah, still quite scared for the exam. :( I need to stop them from hurting me, though they might not know, haha. You can insult me for being childish but I know what I am doing. I need to do this to protect myself. When you think that your once-so-close friends know that you are admitted to the hospital & there's not even a word from them, sad case. I may be expecting too much, but thats me. I don't see how an sms will hurt, even people whom I am not that close to can do that. Am I expecting too much? Maybe. I just want to do things that I want to. I want to lose people who I want to. Bye to these friends. I don't need such friends, as what many been telling me. Funny of how friends come and go. Sorry for not replying msgs, cos I've been really busy. But I saw those msgs, really big thank you! House been in chaos the past few days. But I hope things will get better. Thanks for all the heart... Thanks for everything. Love! I will be ok! :) |
Fuckin Perfect |